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ROB BALLEW
Calling it Like I See it, Since 1974!
Articles Posted: 178; Links Seeded: 1889
Member Since: 3/2006Last Seen: 11/06/2009
Member Since: 3/2006Last Seen: 11/06/2009
31 Comments
PrintAn Iraq Tale Vol 6: ( The Hardest Part)
News Type: Opinion — Sat Mar 1, 2008 2:17 PM EST
A picture I took on a mission. Our convoys roll at night so we get very few photo ops. I liked this one though.
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What is the hardest part of my time spent here in Iraq? Is it the uncertainty of not knowing what goes on a daily basis and how so much can change here in one day? Is it the uncomfortable bed, cold shower, or public restroom you must use daily? Is it the fact that I have 10 people telling you 11 different ways to do a job you have done longer than them? Is it the chain of command who is always finding new and more creative ways of making a bad situation worse? Is it the sometimes 16 hour work days or the time in between where boredom overtakes you so bad you look forward to work? Is it waking up to an explosion or helicopter rattling the wall of your trailer? In truth it is none of those.
For me the hardest part is the loneliness that comes when you realize life is passing you by. The loneliness you feel when you realize a day spent here is a day spent away from those you love, a day you can never get back. The loneliness you feel when you here the kids laugh and play on the other end of a 6000 mile phone call. You know they are at home waiting for dad to come home. Asking every day when you are going to be home. All the while your only desire is for the time to go faster,and for that "freedom bird' to take you back to the life you left. A life you took for granted in the past. A life you promise to never take for granted again, but inside you know this is going to be a very hard promise to keep.
Our time here is winding down. Eventually we will be making our way back home. To our families, homes, and jobs. We will get caught up in our world. Life happens, bills happen and sadly most of us will forget the feeling of loneliness we had while we where here. My last tour I promised myself to never forget this lesson, and the honest truth is I did. I forgot the loneliness and what the hardest part is.
The hardest part is knowing life goes on without you.
I hope I don't forget this time.
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{"commentId":1527936,"authorDomain":"ballew74"}
I am not much of a writer and some days it is hard to express things the way I want to. I have been feeling pretty melancholy do to changes within our unit and the grind of daily life here. As I was in the process of writing this I started to feel a little stingy about feeling this down. As I have written in the past I am lucky to have this opportunity, but some days I really miss my old life and my family. SO I apologize if the article is not what you expected and I thank all who read it. Have a great weekend and give your family a hug for me.
{"commentId":1527936,"threadId":"227708","contentId":"1335669","authorDomain":"ballew74"}
- 8 votes
#1 - Sat Mar 1, 2008 2:14 PM EST{"commentId":1528606,"authorDomain":"RebelGirl"}
Rob,
I really doubt you will, your family means a great deal to you and really most of us tend to be harder on ourselves than we really should be. You won't forget, you may adjust, but the time that you have with Liza and the kids will mean alot more to you now.
Really its just remembering every day how lucky you are to have three great kids and a wife who adores you, that doesn't change even when you are gone.
Great lesson for all of us, enjoy the moments we have every day, you will cherish yours a great deal more now, sometimes people never figure that out and you have.
Mel
{"commentId":1528606,"threadId":"227708","contentId":"1335669","authorDomain":"RebelGirl"}
- 4 votes
{"commentId":1528781,"authorDomain":"wharrison55"}
Rob, I can only imagine that the instant access soldiers have now to family members back home as opposed to the old days of regular snail mail can probably exacerbate the sense of loneliness rather than alleviate as is often thought. I know you're short on this tour. When you come back home what's your airport of debarkation? I know BWI used to be the main entry point but I'm not sure now and whether the National Guard has different points of debarkation than the regular army.
Stay well buddy, we're all proud of you and waiting for you to return to your loved ones.
{"commentId":1528781,"threadId":"227708","contentId":"1335669","authorDomain":"wharrison55"}
- 7 votes
{"commentId":1530280,"authorDomain":"newbroom"}
I am not much of a writer and some days it is hard to express things the way I want to.
Rob, don't be so self critical. You have managed to convey more than you know. Words are like that, often. I too, wish you a safe return to your family and the relative sanity of normal life stateside. Meanwhile, these revealing glimpses may help others to understand and to make good decisions.
You volunteered to be there...others may not have gone quite so willingly, or, expected to return sooner but had to deal with extended tours of duty. We read increasing numbers of stories about the morale and emotional state of Iraq War Veterans. I imagine that most of you over there are dealing with similar feelings?
{"commentId":1530280,"threadId":"227708","contentId":"1335669","authorDomain":"newbroom"}
- 3 votes
{"commentId":1530477,"authorDomain":"ballew74"}
{"commentId":1530862,"authorDomain":"fscott"}
And sadly, Once we return home we forget about the people we spent time here with getting to know and they tend to lose another pretty big part of their life.
Rob, make sure you get names, phone numbers, and addresses of the guys you're serving with, because years from now you'll discover how valuable and rewarding some of those friendships can be. I'm in contact now with a lot of the guys I served with in Vietnam, Thailand, and the Philippines almost 40 years ago, but we waited too long to find one another, and sadly many of the guys passed away before we were able to reestablish contact.
Now we have reunions, groups on the internet, etc., and it's great to get together and discuss our pasts and our present with a great group of guys. As you get older, you'll appreciate sharing these memories of a very important part of your life, and having good friends all over the country.
{"commentId":1530862,"threadId":"227708","contentId":"1335669","authorDomain":"fscott"}
- 2 votes
{"commentId":1572826,"authorDomain":"gina-moore"}
What an impressive article. Thank you for making the public aware of what every servicemember deployed feels. The public needs to know the sacrifices made by each and everyone of you. thank you for serving to keep us safe!
{"commentId":1572826,"threadId":"227708","contentId":"1335669","authorDomain":"gina-moore"}
- 1 vote
{"commentId":1528038,"authorDomain":"EPH289"}
I have a for what it is worth suggestion.
Keep a diary of every call, letter, or whatever communication you have with your family and friends. Write every detail you can remember. What made them laugh and cry. What went wrong at work. What they learned at school. Write down how many times they laughed on the phone and what made you laugh. Write down how you felt when speaking with them.
Any time you feel lonely, read.
I did this for a while when in the Navy. When I read and was reminded it was like they were there.
Keep safe.
{"commentId":1528038,"threadId":"227708","contentId":"1335669","authorDomain":"EPH289"}
- 5 votes
#2 - Sat Mar 1, 2008 2:43 PM EST{"commentId":1528082,"authorDomain":"EPH289"}
Your welcome. Keep the faith and your head down.
{"commentId":1528082,"threadId":"227708","contentId":"1335669","authorDomain":"EPH289"}
- 5 votes
{"commentId":1528443,"authorDomain":"backroadsbubba"}
Life goes on because of you, Rob.
{"commentId":1528443,"threadId":"227708","contentId":"1335669","authorDomain":"backroadsbubba"}
- 7 votes
#3 - Sat Mar 1, 2008 4:49 PM EST{"commentId":1529250,"authorDomain":"ballew74"}
{"commentId":1529314,"authorDomain":"backroadsbubba"}
Yes, bad days are common. If it was not so, how would we recognize a good day?
Man, tell me your favorite restaurant in Indy. I'm buying you and your wife and kids a meal. But, after that recent report on health code violations, mebbe I should buy you some groceries.
{"commentId":1529314,"threadId":"227708","contentId":"1335669","authorDomain":"backroadsbubba"}
- 4 votes
{"commentId":1529328,"authorDomain":"ballew74"}
{"commentId":1529352,"authorDomain":"backroadsbubba"}
Rob, there's nasty stuff in the ice and the water in quite a few restaurants in Indy, including coliform bacteria. It was on WTHR. They've got a new investigative reporter.
Lotta flu going around here, too. I've been cooped up in the house with it, myself.
Let's see, what else . . . property taxes!
{"commentId":1529352,"threadId":"227708","contentId":"1335669","authorDomain":"backroadsbubba"}
- 4 votes
{"commentId":1529460,"authorDomain":"fscott"}
Rob, you and I disagree about the war, and the way it has been handled, but I just want to repeat to you again how proud of you guys I am. You guys are all heroes in my eyes, and I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be separated from your wife and children like many of you are, often for multiple tours. You and your buddies have my respect and admiration for your courage, and for your daily sacrifices. Take care, and stay safe, my friend.
{"commentId":1529460,"threadId":"227708","contentId":"1335669","authorDomain":"fscott"}
- 2 votes
#4 - Sat Mar 1, 2008 9:56 PM EST{"commentId":1529481,"authorDomain":"ballew74"}
{"commentId":1529626,"authorDomain":"jimdent"}
Rob, we didn't have the 'toys' you guys have, but a good book usually helped my loneliness. The worst time for me was sack time... that's when the loneliness really started to close in. Those were the times I read myself to sleep. Just a thought... Take care.
{"commentId":1529626,"threadId":"227708","contentId":"1335669","authorDomain":"jimdent"}
- 3 votes
#5 - Sat Mar 1, 2008 10:48 PM EST{"commentId":1529661,"authorDomain":"ballew74"}
{"commentId":1529870,"authorDomain":"stacym"}
Hi Rob,
I can't even pretend (nor would I try) to I know what you are going through, or what it's like to be apart from your family, or anything of the sort. But I don't think that life is just passing you by while you serve. Just remember that even though it might not be obvious now, what you are doing on this site, by sharing your experience with us, is incredible. I have so much pride to be a part of a site that you share, and so thankful to have you sharing your experiences with us. And not only are you allowing us to listen to your experiences, you also have something on here that you can show your family for years to come. Perhaps I'm coming across as a bit cheesy, but I feel that your documentation of your time serving is of great value, especially to those that are close to you, but also to those that just know you from what you write on here. Thank you for serving, and thank you for writing.
~ Stacy
{"commentId":1529870,"threadId":"227708","contentId":"1335669","authorDomain":"stacym"}
- 4 votes
#6 - Sun Mar 2, 2008 12:29 AM EST{"commentId":1530481,"authorDomain":"ballew74"}
{"commentId":1530950,"authorDomain":"mrhomer4"}
Rob,As M.C. Hammer would say "That Why We Pray",And the Bible Says "This To Shall Pass",Thank God.You made a Incredible Sacrifice to Serve Your Country and Your Doing what You committed to do. That said a lot of this is in the (MIX)!You will be home soon and yes time and friend and family will change your head back from Military life to Civilian life,What a Wonderful Day when you will hold your Family and be back with them.I think you will remember lessons learned.Your commitment right now makes you an "American Hero"Right Now and not when you get back,You served and you have the right to go back to your other life that you left and your a smart man,Lessons are learned that will change the way you live stateside and they will be for the better and that will make you a finer person then you are,A better Dad ,Husband and you will enjoy life even more. As far as I'm concerned you are a "Hero"over here,So get your ass back home safely friend,Mark.
{"commentId":1530950,"threadId":"227708","contentId":"1335669","authorDomain":"mrhomer4"}
- 3 votes
#7 - Sun Mar 2, 2008 12:03 PM EST{"commentId":1586235,"authorDomain":"tadg217"}
I honestly cant say that I understand what you are going through but I can certainly imagine. I here stories just like yours from my Dad who FINALLY just retired after 26 years (I am also 26), and although I am sure my Dad was lonely, I too was lonely not having my Dad to spend time with. He is now retired and I still don't get to spend time with him (he lives in Texas and I am in Michigan). We here cant possibly be as lonely as everyone there but without our family members here, we too are lonely (of course your time seems to move alot slower for you then for us here). We are VARY thankful for all you do and wish we could make it easier on every soldier there. I wish all of you the best of luck in Life and just understand that this trip is only a (pain in the ass) detour in Life and soon you will back home with your family and things will be back to normal, but until then your Day Dreams can help you make the best of your situation. We CERTAINLY Appreciate everything you do for us. Also I have to strongly agree with the last persons (Mark Homer) comment
{"commentId":1586235,"threadId":"227708","contentId":"1335669","authorDomain":"tadg217"}
- 2 votes
#8 - Sun Mar 16, 2008 8:21 PM EDT{"commentId":1586269,"authorDomain":"ballew74"}
{"commentId":1592398,"authorDomain":"tadg217"}
Although I am sure he was there wishing to be home with me, I have to stop and ask myself how bad he wanted to be with me and my kids. See I am a mom of 2 kids who have a Grandpa here (there Dad's Dad) that they love and Cherish dearly but always ask me where my Dad is, And although my 6 year old son understands that he is in the Army (now retired) we fail to understand why he has not made attempts to come here and live with us (to be with the ONLY grand kids he has). I guess after 26 years without him I was being selfish in wanting him here with me for once instead of Texas (with his 3rd wife, due to the Army!) and will never understand why he wont come. At some time I started to think he just doesnt care. He still has that "You will learn on your own and suck it up and be tough" Mantality of the Army. I keep telling him "Your no longer in the Army so its time to lose that tough man attitude and be a Dad and Grandpa after 26 years. I guess he will never understand whats its like to be in my shoes and be raised without him. I still to this day ask him why he didnt take me with him when my parents got divorced and all he says is I didnt think you would come (however he never asked me!) I love him dearly and want him here. So, see being lonely in the army has its long lasting effect on people and even after being there may never go away, So from a Childs point of view when you get home, SPEND EVERY WAKING MINUTE WITH YOUR KIDS and LET THEM KNOW THEY ARE YOUR WORLD. It may be only word to you but means the world to them, now and forever. I guarantee you they will NEVER forget it. Just dont be as hard headed as my Dad, it sucked growing up without him.
{"commentId":1592398,"threadId":"227708","contentId":"1335669","authorDomain":"tadg217"}
- 2 votes
{"commentId":1597348,"authorDomain":"dsoveranes"}
I believe what you are say in this one. We all do get caught up in our lives and it makes it go by fast. Sometimes I think we just need to sit back and look around us and enjoy what we have, and what we have accomplished. I really don't know how you do it without seeing your kids everyday, watching them grow every day. Who knows you just might be able to enjoy your life wen you get back and i hope you do. I honestly hope you never have to go through things you are going through now. I do give you respect that you have the ability to go trough all of what you do. I can't imagine to go through that and to be apart from the ones I do love. Just when you get back I hope you can spend that time you have lost with those you love and gain everything you have not been there for.
{"commentId":1597348,"threadId":"227708","contentId":"1335669","authorDomain":"dsoveranes"}
- 1 vote
#9 - Wed Mar 19, 2008 3:30 PM EDT{"commentId":1615416,"authorDomain":"KTriss"}
My boyfriend of 3 1/2 years was just deployed recently. Reading - The Hardest Part- really made me feel good to know that you did have something to look forward to. But you are right that life will keep moving forward whether your there or not. Your kids keep growing and days keep passing. But you have the ones you care about thinking of you every single moment of every single day and you remember that this is why you are serving, this is why we are at war. We are there to pave a path and better things for our future generations and so make our world a better and safer place. I believe that, gets me through everyday knowing that our men are risking everything, to do whats right. So I salute and Thank you. To all our American soldiers, who have fought a valiant fight and the ones we have lost. We keep you in our thoughts and prayers because everyday is a day closer to the end of this war and to our loved ones to come home!
{"commentId":1615416,"threadId":"227708","contentId":"1335669","authorDomain":"KTriss"}
- 2 votes
#10 - Mon Mar 24, 2008 5:53 PM EDT{"commentId":1628922,"authorDomain":"traciegirl72"}
This brings a light to how the past 24-hours have been for me. I thank you! My husband is in Kuwait Camp Ajair (cant spell, thought i seen it in another blog) He flies home on 4/5, his time is done. I miss him and wonder what thoughts he has. Unlike you, he don't express these things. So its really good to hear those things from someone who is there! While i know that wasn't his words...i could so hear them from him. Just remember, you are appreciated. You are blessed...you kids love you, not because of what you give them but because your their dad. Take care, god bless you and remember that everyone who knows you or has read your blog is keeping you in there thoughts!
{"commentId":1628922,"threadId":"227708","contentId":"1335669","authorDomain":"traciegirl72"}
#11 - Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:36 AM EDT{"commentId":1657944,"authorDomain":"tomases"}
Rob,
as an Army dad ( my son's 2-2 scr) I have to tell you that life does go on without you, but it's not the same for us either. Be aware that you guys are never far, and often too close to our thoughts.
There are days that you guys are all we can think about. I have a little understanding of how tough it is there, and how much you suffer for us. And we thank you for your service. But for every service member there are many family members, and friends and even people you barely knew pulling for every soldier's safe return. I realize that when your son joins the Army the whole family becomes a part of the Army family. I know more about weapons than I ever wanted to, I know many definitions for "hooah". And I have cried for soldiers I never met. Just know that we are proud of you guys and our thoughts and prayers are with you. Keep you head down. Abrother of my son is a son of mine!
Be brave, be smart, be strong, be careful....not necessarily in that order!
{"commentId":1657944,"threadId":"227708","contentId":"1335669","authorDomain":"tomases"}
- 2 votes
#12 - Sat Apr 5, 2008 2:51 AM EDT{"commentId":1664271,"authorDomain":"shruth"}
Thank you for your article. The sad part is that we all forget. No matter where you are - we all take life for granted.
Maybe the next time I let my life get out of hand I will remember your words.
Thank you for giving your all for us. I know you don't always feel like a hero but in most American eyes - you are.
I, my children, and grandchildren have freedom only because of your courage and we are grateful.
God bless you and bring you home safely.
All our love to you and your family.
{"commentId":1664271,"threadId":"227708","contentId":"1335669","authorDomain":"shruth"}
- 2 votes
#13 - Mon Apr 7, 2008 12:40 PM EDT{"canLink":false,"threadId":"227708","isPrivate":false}
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