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ROB BALLEW
Calling it Like I See it, Since 1974!
Articles Posted: 178; Links Seeded: 1889
Member Since: 3/2006Last Seen: 11/06/2009
Member Since: 3/2006Last Seen: 11/06/2009
32 Comments
PrintAn Iraq Tale Vol 15: (Thinking Back)
News Type: Other — Tue Apr 8, 2008 8:43 PM EDT
Sun going down outside my CHU (trailer)
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Recently a lot of my thoughts have been going back to the first days of on ground here in Iraq. The days we spent getting trained on where all the various "yards", fuel points, and other points of interest on the FOB. Not to mention learning the ins and outs of s new and very impressive vehicle. From our days riding along with our predecessors learning the ropes, and listening to the stories and cautionary tales about close calls. The feelings of being overwhelmed at learning a new vehicle, and systems on the vehicle that a National Guardsman has little chance of seeing stateside. The long nights worrying whether or not I am fit to be the leader that I was and others expected me to be. There was so much uncertainty and a bit of wonder at the position I was in. But more than that there was a feeling of pride, knowing I was carrying on a proud tradition that so many brave men and women had done in the past and will do in the future.
Fast forward a few months and the feelings where different,. The feeling of being overwhelmed was replaced with a feeling of familiarity. The nights although often long where easier and even fun at times. The routes, vehicle, systems, and routines of being a TC (truck commander) where becoming less daunting and almost second nature. The fear of messing up was still there but as time went on I felt more confident in my role. And as time went on I saw myself grow into something I never wanted or thought I would ever be, a leader.
Thinking back, I wonder how many of my counterparts have had the same feelings. Did they wonder at night if they were the right person for the job? Did they wonder if they would make the right decisions, or know what to do if things went wrong? Do they have the feeling of uncertainty that I felt? The doubt I felt? Its funny the roads life takes you on. A little over a year ago had you told me I would be in the position I am in today I would have laughed. I spent my life as a follower, a person who was better as part of the team not in charge of a team. I find myself now in charge of a team, and am proud of the fact I can do it. And more than anything I am thankful to have had the opportunity to prove to myself I could do it and especially thankful and proud to have had a great team to work with and to learn with, they made it easy.
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{"commentId":1670197,"authorDomain":"ballew74"}
Yes it was another slow day, not a lot going on in my neck of the woods. But I thought I would share some thoughts about my feelings early on and where they led me as a leader and person. This also gave me a chance to thank my team (one of whom writes for newsvine on occasion). As I said I am glad I had this opportunity and proud of the chance to follow in the footsteps of some great people.
Thanks to all that stopped by and hopefully I'll have something interesting to write in the coming days. Have a great day.
{"commentId":1670197,"threadId":"247339","contentId":"1419071","authorDomain":"ballew74"}
- 3 votes
#1 - Tue Apr 8, 2008 8:47 PM EDT{"commentId":1670227,"authorDomain":"backroadsbubba"}
Everyone feels inadequate and possibly a fraud in roles of responsibility. It's happened with me. Self-doubt may be universal.
{"commentId":1670227,"threadId":"247339","contentId":"1419071","authorDomain":"backroadsbubba"}
- 4 votes
#2 - Tue Apr 8, 2008 8:56 PM EDT{"commentId":1670263,"authorDomain":"ballew74"}
{"commentId":1670312,"authorDomain":"backroadsbubba"}
A man with no doubts may be untrustworthy.
{"commentId":1670312,"threadId":"247339","contentId":"1419071","authorDomain":"backroadsbubba"}
- 3 votes
{"commentId":1670253,"authorDomain":"seward"}
Rob, your Superiors would not have put you in that situation, if they had any doubts about your ability.
Stay safe, My Friend.
{"commentId":1670253,"threadId":"247339","contentId":"1419071","authorDomain":"seward"}
- 3 votes
#3 - Tue Apr 8, 2008 9:04 PM EDT{"commentId":1670270,"authorDomain":"ballew74"}
{"commentId":1670279,"authorDomain":"bigmomma"}
You obviously have grown over the past year, it always nice to look back and recognize that. Thanks for sharing some personal thoughts.
{"commentId":1670279,"threadId":"247339","contentId":"1419071","authorDomain":"bigmomma"}
- 4 votes
#4 - Tue Apr 8, 2008 9:14 PM EDT{"commentId":1670301,"authorDomain":"ballew74"}
{"commentId":1670285,"authorDomain":"jnick"}
Without the team a leader has no job. Without the leader there is only individuals on a different path. Combined in cohesion they are an unstoppable force. You Rob, who recognize your men first....are a true leader.
{"commentId":1670285,"threadId":"247339","contentId":"1419071","authorDomain":"jnick"}
- 3 votes
#5 - Tue Apr 8, 2008 9:15 PM EDT{"commentId":1670308,"authorDomain":"ballew74"}
{"commentId":1670298,"authorDomain":"OKrahoma"}
Hi Rob!
We're happy for "another slow day." Most of us, I think, underestimate ourselves, unless you're Donald Trump, or Chuck Norris. We always wonder if we could find the right stuff to do the right thing when called upon. I think when you stop wondering, stop questioning, that's when you've got problems. Plus, anything you write from a war zone is interesting. We're tired of hearing from the politicians, the new anchors deep within the Green Zone, etc. Anyway, thanks for all you & your guys &/or girls are doing. We are thinking about you every day. Stay safe.
{"commentId":1670298,"threadId":"247339","contentId":"1419071","authorDomain":"OKrahoma"}
- 2 votes
#6 - Tue Apr 8, 2008 9:19 PM EDT{"commentId":1670316,"authorDomain":"ballew74"}
{"commentId":1674528,"authorDomain":"OKrahoma"}
Don't think too hard about it, just write what's going on in your life, just the little, to you, boring, details. Have you written about the weather there much? I haven't read all of your blogs. People I know are always amazed that it gets so cold there in the winter. They always think of sand=dessert=heat, palm trees, etc. I wonder also, have you commented about the smells around you? I've heard that sometimes, those are very overwhelming, at first, & possibly every day? Maybe you're in a place that smells good, I hope--that would be great. Stay safe....
{"commentId":1674528,"threadId":"247339","contentId":"1419071","authorDomain":"OKrahoma"}
- 3 votes
{"commentId":1670587,"authorDomain":"fullershaven"}
A leader who can lead by example and in humility is a leader that those under his leadership NEVER forget; you will leave a lasting imprint on their lives and they will have grown along with you. When/If their turn comes to be leaders they will remember lessons they learned from you. Stay safe and Godspeed.
{"commentId":1670587,"threadId":"247339","contentId":"1419071","authorDomain":"fullershaven"}
- 6 votes
#7 - Tue Apr 8, 2008 11:01 PM EDT{"commentId":1677010,"authorDomain":"ballew74"}
{"commentId":1670888,"authorDomain":"lizz-welchcarre"}
It is called "imposter syndrome" when you feel like you are in over your head and somehow people have trusted you with something that you are not sure you are qualified for....it is a fairly universal feeling. Those individuals who experience it have the greatest chance of success because they question and consider the possibilities. It is the individuals who do not wonder if they have the skills, but instead assume that they have them, that scare the heck out of me because generally they are clueless. Good for you that you rose to the challenge and have done so well.
{"commentId":1670888,"threadId":"247339","contentId":"1419071","authorDomain":"lizz-welchcarre"}
- 5 votes
#8 - Wed Apr 9, 2008 1:44 AM EDT{"commentId":1677026,"authorDomain":"ballew74"}
{"commentId":1671536,"authorDomain":"RebelGirl"}
Love those sunsets, one more day towards home is the way I look at it. I am glad you can reflect now, realzing the moments you have there are limited.
Enjoy them, savor them and be overjoyed that you will be home soon.
M
{"commentId":1671536,"threadId":"247339","contentId":"1419071","authorDomain":"RebelGirl"}
- 5 votes
#9 - Wed Apr 9, 2008 9:31 AM EDT{"commentId":1677037,"authorDomain":"ballew74"}
{"commentId":1677517,"authorDomain":"RebelGirl"}
Good... thanks... had one of those days, but this too shall pass :O) Hope the hectic schedule is a result of you getting your ass back home. :O)
{"commentId":1677517,"threadId":"247339","contentId":"1419071","authorDomain":"RebelGirl"}
- 4 votes
{"commentId":1671548,"authorDomain":"kmfay"}
Rob - I'm glad the "action" is slow for you right now...I'm sure your family is as well! We pray and hope that ALL our men and women on the field of battle stay safe and come home...how we wish that it could be.
Regarding being a leader...From reading thru all your postings you seem to be a wonderful person and I think it takes that type to be a great leader. Stay safe!
Here's a quote that I think reflects on this moment:
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
{"commentId":1671548,"threadId":"247339","contentId":"1419071","authorDomain":"kmfay"}
- 4 votes
#10 - Wed Apr 9, 2008 9:34 AM EDT{"commentId":1677056,"authorDomain":"ballew74"}
{"commentId":1672542,"authorDomain":"EPH289"}
"Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys.
Look on them as your own beloved sons, and they will stand by you even unto death!"
- Sun Tzu, the Art of War
The general who advances without coveting fame and retreats without fearing disgrace, whose only thought is to protect his country and do good service for his sovereign, is the jewel of the kingdom.
- Sun Tzu
{"commentId":1672542,"threadId":"247339","contentId":"1419071","authorDomain":"EPH289"}
- 3 votes
#11 - Wed Apr 9, 2008 1:00 PM EDT{"commentId":1677069,"authorDomain":"ballew74"}
{"commentId":1677357,"authorDomain":"EPH289"}
Rob,
Sun Tzu is studied by military and business leaders. A great military mind from about 400-500 BC
{"commentId":1677357,"threadId":"247339","contentId":"1419071","authorDomain":"EPH289"}
- 2 votes
{"commentId":1673997,"authorDomain":"vas"}
Rob, you're a fair and thoughtful person, don't care much for bull@!$%#, but care a lot about people. So I'm not surprised you make a good leader.
{"commentId":1673997,"threadId":"247339","contentId":"1419071","authorDomain":"vas"}
- 3 votes
#12 - Wed Apr 9, 2008 6:54 PM EDT{"commentId":1677098,"authorDomain":"ballew74"}
{"commentId":1677565,"authorDomain":"lovNmyseal"}
Having doubts is what makes u a gr8 man. I have been reading your stories for the past few months now and it has done wonders for me! I wanted to thank you for keeping me updated on some of your days spent. Also keep doing a gr8 job there!
{"commentId":1677565,"threadId":"247339","contentId":"1419071","authorDomain":"lovNmyseal"}
- 4 votes
#13 - Thu Apr 10, 2008 4:55 PM EDT{"commentId":1678124,"authorDomain":"ballew74"}
{"commentId":1679958,"authorDomain":"chammond"}
It is "were" not "where"...
{"commentId":1679958,"threadId":"247339","contentId":"1419071","authorDomain":"chammond"}
#14 - Fri Apr 11, 2008 11:05 AM EDT{"commentId":1680008,"authorDomain":"ballew74"}
{"commentId":1689619,"authorDomain":"cletuswilbury"}
"Thinking back, I wonder how many of my counterparts have had the same feelings. Did they wonder at night if they were the right person for the job? Did they wonder if they would make the right decisions, or know what to do if things went wrong?"
I saw a movie on TCM recently that addressed this, where James Cagney played Admiral Halsey. Googling...
From review:
...
The most remarkable feature of The Gallant Hours is its willingness and effectiveness to show emotions seldom dealt with in military movies. One of these shows Halsey in the horrific dilemma of knowing that he is sending two close friends (Admirals Scott and Callaghan) to certain death, but being constrained by circumstance from any alternate course of action....For the individual who wants a serious treatment of the personal effects of warfare, without the usual rah-rah, flag-waving and stereotyped villification of opposing forces, The Gallant Hours is a sobering, not to be forgotten movie experience...
There's one part where a flyer doesn't think he's qualified to take the place of his killed squadron's commander, The Halsey quote "There are no extraordinary men... just extraordinary circumstances that ordinary men are forced to deal with. " was part of Cagney's performance.
{"commentId":1689619,"threadId":"247339","contentId":"1419071","authorDomain":"cletuswilbury"}
#15 - Mon Apr 14, 2008 10:35 AM EDT{"canLink":false,"threadId":"247339","isPrivate":false}
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